For several months now, I’ve been desiring to get back to my blog. It wasn’t so much that I lost the inspiration to write, it was more about other endeavors getting in the way. So, here in the last few hours of 2012, I have decided it would be a good time to express my thoughts and hopefully inspire moments of reflections and revelations.
Like most of you, my year was filled with a mixture of blessings, sorrows and celebrations. I derived much joy from my daily interactions with the wonderful people who take my exercise classes or have me as a personal trainer. Getting to help others stay fit and healthy while at the same time strengthening my own body is a privilege I greatly treasure. I am surrounded by amazing, strong, inspirational women! This year, I was able to share my passion for exercise with the release of my new Ballean DVD. The response has been equally overwhelming and humbling. Definitely a check in the blessing category!
In August, my husband and I tearfully said goodbye to our oldest child Joel, who moved to Austin. While we were both so excited for his new adventures in Texas, we were sad for ourselves and the simple joys we would miss – hanging out with him on the deck on Sundays…or just meeting him uptown for lunch…or stopping in for a drink when he was bartending at Aria. Our times with Joel are always filled with stimulating conversation, plenty of laughter and lots of hugs. I think I miss the hugs the most.
My daughter Kara and her husband Shaun celebrated one year of marriage, while we celebrated 32. Interestingly enough, we still work as hard on our relationship now as we did that first year. The cool thing is after many conversations with our daughter over the last year, it has become very clear she is WAY ahead of the game than we were in that first year. So excited for them and the journey they have chosen to take together…like me, she married her best friend and the love of her life, who can sometimes be a pain in the ass but who makes her laugh her butt off every day! In my opinion, probably as good as it gets.
Alas, this year of apocalyptic prophesies has been filled with many “revelations” for me. As you know if you interact with me or read my blog, I am constantly evaluating the human condition, my own life and the world around me. One lifelong goal that I share with my spouse, and probably many of you, is to always be evolving as a human being. For me that translates into examining my internal maps and filters, my fears and phobias and all that makes me tick. It is a daunting task that requires intellectual honesty and the ability to take personal responsibility for my current state of being…spiritual, emotional and physical.
Unshackled and unfettered. . .the truth shall set you free! In the glorious year of 2012, I made a wonderful discovery. Upon taking a very deep look into myself – my thoughts…motivations…desire to seek truth and the meaning of life – I came to a place called “honesty”. In this place, there is no room for self-deception, fairy tales, victimization and blame. I am who I am at this point in life because of the daily choices I have made. Ahhh…the sweet feeling of chains falling off my soul. The sound was so loud and triumphant, I was sure all the neighbors could hear them clanging on my hardwood floors.
SPIRITUALLY -What do I really know? In relation to the mysteries and enormity of the universe…not a whole hell of a lot. As far as my soul goes, when I am serving others…I am the most peaceful, content and fulfilled. EMOTIONALLY -What do I value? Personal relationships more than stuff and the feeling that I am valued and respected especially by my spouse. PHYSICALLY – Why did I suddenly find myself 15 pounds heavier on the scale? This one took a little more time…I so wanted to blame it on hormones, menopause…anything DOC please? But NO…the truth was I was eating more calories, especially carbs, than I was burning off. The scale offers a real fun dance with reality – kind of hard to lie to yourself when you are “butt naked” staring down at a number that defies your driver’s license stats. And the truth shall set you free…of about 15 pounds of excess baggage in my case.
So, here I am writing my blog and once again examining and baring my soul in hopes to not only enlighten myself but also with the deepest hope and desire that through my explorations, you might be inspired to find yourself as well.
I am looking forward to all your comments, questions and suggestions in 2013.
Happy New Year…LuvYa!!