There are a lot of things I’m not particularly fond of these days. But one of the main ‘not so great’ trends is the incessant need to group and label one another. The constant use of “they” and “them” is so damaging to our collective psyche and yet every night on news talk shows this is the pervasive narrative.

“Those people are destroying America, they have an agenda, they hate your way of life and honestly they hate America.” This is a narrative that is being peddled every single day.

I don’t know about you, but I am not part of a “they.” And honestly when I connect and engage with people as individuals, I discover most people gravitate towards the middle and don’t want to be boxed in. And while someone may align with a particular ideology more than another, with deeper investigation it seems most us us have no desire to be radical anything.

So who are the “they”? I guess if you are to follow the logic of the group and label mentality – “they” are the collective fringes of our society. They are the radicalized folks who find their identity and safety in a group mentality. “They” are people with an agenda which is counter to everything you supposedly believe and stand for.

As the divisive narratives go: “They” are the crazy far left liberals who want to have open borders and take your guns away and replace all fossil fuels with renewable energy sources or “They” are the insane far right conservatives who are racist and homophobic and want America to be white, right and Christian. These are the two extreme narratives.

After watching a documentary last night on white supremacist groups spreading like wildfire a message of hate towards Jews, blacks and anyone who isn’t white – I realized once again how dangerous and destructive a labeling narrative can be. It is truly scary how potent this message is for those who feel their way of life is under siege. Their mantra being “we won’t be replaced.”

We all fall prey to this desire. It is built into our DNA to gather into groups for social interaction as well as for built-in protection which larger numbers provide when facing an enemy.

But we aren’t fighting off tigers and lions anymore. Our biggest enemy today in America is a created one, a false narrative which fuels a mindset of hatred towards “they and them”. Those people are out to get us – those people who don’t look like me or speak like me, they are the enemy. Those people with brown skin who don’t pray like me – they are my mortal enemy. Those people who don’t want what I want or think like I think – they are the ones who make me feel like my way of life is under siege.

This is where we are. And honestly, this is where we always have been. It is only when the non-reactive, logical, calm and clear minded “greater good” independent thinkers stand up and reclaim a different narrative; that things change for the better.

It is going to require our voices, the normally introspective and peaceful personalities to begin to be the loudest voice in the room. Rational minds must prevail. As of October 2017, Gallup polling found that 31% of Americans identified as Democrat, 24% identified as Republican, and 42% as Independent.

The 42% must speak up. The silent majority MUST NOT remain silent any longer. We must be willing to connect with people who dominate the conversations on the radical right and left. We must be willing to educate with logic, statistics, facts and non-emotion based scientific arguments.

I hope that I can find the courage and conviction to stop the labeling, to refuse to be coerced into “they and them” narratives, to be strong in the face of bullying tactics, to be calm in the torrent of divisive shouting matches, to be an individual who brings people together by highlighting what we have in common as opposed to weaponizing our differences. I hope that I can.

I hope that you can too.